myopia is deadlier.
dear parents.
im not going to argue or defend myself.
i've got better things to channel time and energy to. to channel Power to.
its not a worthy-enough cause to me, for me. im sorry.
its crystal clear u already have come to a conclusion. so. since u've done the finale, clear the theatre. well. at least I'm Leaving.

i know i have to put myself in the shoes of the other person to better view this whole issue. Yet. no one mentioned my pair of shoes.

i will not shoulder this full load of blame. just as i cannot take a full load of glory or honor, without admitting that i didnt do it just-by-myself. Ignoring facts will- make u realise and feel its reality even more, albeit later. that's all.

i just cannot swallow down ur argument, ur conclusion, ur wadever. not to mention 'digest' it. not at the moment i heard it. and even worse so after i thought thru it very objectively. i am flexible when it comes to such things. i really make it a point to reflect and think. really.

u see just this episode. ur script's not collated. its but the lines of one actor. reality is not first-come-first-serve. why wld an earlier testimonial/account gain more favour. if that's so with you, I refuse to join the queue. i won't even go near the line.

[i know i still love my parents. its just unfortunate they missed the mark this time round, to my dissppointment. yet. anticipation.] u've still got my love and my, my, [together:] "what a bargain for you".


kmli blogged at 8/31/2005 03:12:00 PM



cubo, the cricket.
today, i remember cubo, the female cricket, which i saved, and released.

clever cubo jumps into a pail. a pail filled with water when she should know she's a cricket.
recuperating in her agarose gel glass apartment, enjoying the fantastic scenery
awaiting her new bungalow, chewin on cabbage. cool cubo.


kmli blogged at 8/31/2005 11:15:00 AM



in a mess.
had a horrible Friday.
im having a horrible Saturday. to the likes of the dilemmas and depression last year, when i was intheprocess of abandoning german.
its made worse, because i can afford no time to think about any of it.
i should be having a terrible sunday as well.
followed by disastrous monday and tuesday.
then i'll have a non-breather. to help me face horrid friday.

orange juice's in the freezer.
and that is ALL that's cheering me up a bit.
after i finish the packet. i'll turn on the engine- to start this cycle once again.


kmli blogged at 8/28/2005 07:48:00 AM



e oh eyes.
eois are here.
so annoying. but must have stamina to pull thru.
no matter what happens in between.

dad bought some stupid ornamental stones and placed them on a glass plate filled with water. the patterns on the stones/pebbles are really quite nice la.
i was walking round the house and adjusted the pebbles, cos they were arranged to one side of the plate and i found it irritatingly unbalanced and..wrong.

then when daddy came home, he asked who touched/rearranged his pebbles.

i was like "ME." explained how they were disturbingly only one one half of that big glass plate. i elaborated on the concept of 'balance' and 'symmetry'...[haha]

then dad said something quite cool.
he said he arranged the pebbles to one side of the plate only, to remind himself not to be hold certain biases in life.

wah. like real. i bet he was just trying to get some reason out to put down my point.
actually, there isnt a need to refute my pt(s).
cos i laughed my head off. at his weird thinking. goodnight. no. goodmorning. um...wadever la. hello to the eois then.

[i met so many interesting people today. so entertaining. i love people watching]


kmli blogged at 8/25/2005 03:39:00 PM



i love my grandma veryvery much.
just talked to her on the phone cos she happened to call to chat with my mum...she was saying it isn't anything impt. just calling to talk with mum cos she's bored, and said that she wld call again next time..so i told her she can always chat with me. she said something like..its okay, u go do your work or something..but i still insisted on speaking with her. cos i miss her so so much.

and as i was speaking to her, actually, when i heard her voice, i felt like crying already. im tearing so terribly now. i felt like crying cos yeayea..i miss her. and well. cos..i dunno.i just love her so much and yet, there are so little chances of me speaking with her, Being with her Physically. really.

she's really the most adorable person. we talked about everything. from fishponds to terrorism, to the assasination of the sri lanka politician. my grandma went thru so much, communism, everything..migration..

grandma: why kill people right? why do they want to kill one another? it's so messy nowadays. so chaotic. they can quarrel all they want..but murder is really bad. imagine. would they want themselves to be murdered too?

no popo.
sometimes it seems the world sucks to much, you know?

grandma: yea. exactly. if people don't get along, talk less! or quarrel more! don't need to kill (still going on abt her pt)

sigh. i came home feeling really pissed. stayed in school for four hours, settling forum letters, getting editing done. my exams are starting on thurs. and i am staying back to do such things, that people Do Not appreciate or see. i mean, its a neccessary sacrifice..but.
well. let's put it this way. i understand and know (yea.i know. surprisesurprise) that everyone's got their own stuff to attend to. everyone's busy. so am i. but.it stinks so bad when u've always thought that there would be people who will be accompanyin you thru all this.so it didn't seem that bad. but then, at that particular moment, you're left all alone. not totally but. still. get me? i don't care. i know what i mean.
i really hate false assurances. fake security...u thot there's someone on ur side, to fall back upon. but as i was getting home, feeling all sour and bitter. this tune crept up on me.

God is too wise to be mistaken.
God is too good to be unkind.

really.i don't see God's plan. the plan for these few days. this coming week.
but who cares.
i give him praise for two things.
[1] for giving me a comprehensive, thorough and informative presentation on the ugly sides of some people. full screening. at zero dollars. [btw. im not going to watch march of the penguins in sept. tho its 3 dollars]
[2] for allowing me to thoroughly enjoy those four hours of work, of letter drafting, redrafting, speaking to mentors, fiddling with tht printer miles away from my com, running to and fro. im not a victim. i happen to be your succeeding survivor.

and when i got home, i cooked noodles for myself, since no one else was at home.
its my third attempt at cooking.
the noodles turned out all right but a lil bit too much sesame oil within the pkt and a lil too much water. i told my grandma and she was laughing at me..oops.

my noodles are in front of me...all cold..cos i was on the phone for 35 mins...my entire left arm was numb. i dont feel hungry anymore...how.
hm. look at this long entry..my journal is burning with jealousy. haiya.

egg+nissin noodles Posted by Picasa


ohwell...i better go and study...[i love my grandma] just allow me to repeat once more.


kmli blogged at 8/24/2005 09:25:00 AM



have i succumbed to this blog thing =]
and how long wld this last.

started friendster blog cos of boredom.
only to know it alerts my friends
on every single post i make
my sis says its irritating...i think so too.
and so. she's got this blog for me. she'll be
my housekeeper.no..blogkeeper.

by the way.she did the first entry.
her declaration.

exams are coming.
and where is the stress and paranoia.
i rather it comes prematurely.
but till noww. its not anywhere near.
i can tell
the future's gna be bleak.

urgh.feel so...bloggish?
haiya. the end.


kmli blogged at 8/23/2005 12:30:00 PM



hi all there.
for my first entry.id just lke to say tt the world goes round bcos of my sis.


kmli blogged at 8/22/2005 08:26:00 PM


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