mossadance

over the CHINESE new year holidays, i was over at my dance instructress's place.

[1] channel surfed to cctv. news was on. it was reporting on the saddam hussein trials. it was Amazing. really, it's been so long since i've watched a substantial news report. they had the selected video clips, with clear and well-timed subtitles, and with proper presentation. There was a good analysis on the whole report, on implications on different parties, etc. It made me feel so sick to the core thinking about the news reports in Singapore. It made me agree with daddy-o.

daddy-o has been a wanderer/ not based in Singapore for the past 9 years? and i must agree that, from a more international perspective, singapore has no news! or rather, the media - specifically the television, more specifically, mediacorp news [ohdear. will i get sued?] does not present newsworthy news. Leave Fann Wong and Christopher to the tabloids. bring in better international news. Maybe it's just me and daddy-o. and mum. Many Singaporeans love Mediacorp, love Fann and Christopher, and they LOVE dialing in to the news hotlines. (refer to a particular news article by Neil Humphreys) mediacorp news hotlines are the favourite numbers to dial - probably more so after the nkf saga- for 'anything'. it's as good as a stand-in nanny for the pap government. leaky pipes in your home? noisy neighbours? a peculiar komodo dragon sighting? or that sense of unjust that envelopes you because someone jumped your queue at an eating place? GO, tell it to the news hotline. if you're bored, call them.

back to the cctv report, based on what was verbally presented, i think i would have enough quotations and main ideas to use for a review! that's a measure of how informative and 'simplygood' it was. well. i guess singapore media, being such a small industry, has to struggle with the options of self-sustainence vs. 'worldclass' standards in a very localized community with local needs. (seeing them advertise for their own programmes in manymany lines of hurried speech after news is a joke. sorry.)

so. that was second day of newyear. backtrack to first day. i played piano for the first time for combined service/billingual service. made a couple of mistakes. ok. not couple. foursomes of mistakes. BUT teacher serene was so nice! she sat beside me on stage, to help me flip my scores, catch falling scores, beat the tempo, reassure me etc. really very nice cos it was exactly what i needed. im going to play for engcheong and michelle's matrimonial. i think michelle's a very nice person. before meeting her at christmas comm, i thought she was a cold and blahblah person. but, she's really chatty when talking abt clothes/earrings and etcetc. veryvery fun to talk to.

so first day was mainly neighbourvisiting and friends visiting. daddy-o was just obsessed with aussie opens, the tennis balls, the players, the score. it's so marvellous to be able to play 'beautiful' tennis. having the style and grace. playing with solely competitiveness and omph is so plain. i guess this applies to many things. talking abt style and grace, dance reminds me of chingay preview and actual performance on friday and saturday. i hope it will be fun! we must make it fun! with wenxin and juee, easypeasy.

so, second day of new year i had my dance instructress's famous dumplings for dinner. she wrapped coins in the dumplings and supposedly! (can u tell i didn't get one) if you get one, you get good luck. but dumplings represent gdluck and wealth already anyways. so. haiyoh, whatever la. the food was gd okay! and then i met a primary schoolmate. huiting. was a prefect.
at first, i was so scared to you know, converse, with her, because, well, im always very careful when interacting with students not from socalled elite schools. in case they think im haughty and all that. but from experience, neighbourhood school students and ite students (from christmas carolling at pastor's), if they are 'gd people', they are really really sincere and genuine when they speak with you. It's really fascinating finding out the ambitions they have, the paths they see ahead for them. we should 'cross-talk' more. no use shutting urself up in your own lil world, your own 'elite' world. we'll get to be in the same society nxt time, so start early. i feel so strongly abt this, man. executing is tough though. circumstances are hard to come by sometimes.

before i tell you about the third day of new year, well. today in school, in the morning, there was a group praying near the piano. being a Christian myself, i think that's good. but, they really looked out of place. in a bad way. and my friend actually said they are 'sickening'. my friend isnt a christian, but, it just made me think how sensitivity isn't just about relativity? it's sucha hard thing to grasp. maybe the group can do it more discreetly? sitting down? and pray earlier, cos everyone was moving to the parade sq. and they were huddled there kind of thing. BUT. what's wrong with praying. well, people, maybe such stuff appears strange/annoying to you. but you just see how beliefs are not just a 'religion'. they Must be, logically, speaking across all majr religions, a way and a part of life. or else, reexamine what you call a religion to you, i guess. i musnt be judgemental. BUT, guys, dont judge Christianity just like that also. im just worried. stay open minded. come on, heyyy...=) haha. yay.

i stayed up on the second night of new year. till 4.30am okay! pro not. (refer previous entry). so, next morning, i was awake at 9 already. slacked in bed till 10, cause i was too hungry and i could smell breakfast. new year breakfast are very nice. very chinese. =] then, i did more homework.

oh. for these few days, i've been entertaining my neighbour, this lil girl...4 years old..woah. it's such a task. but she's quite lovable. so. alright. i wont complain 'too much'. then at 5, i went for a LONG walk with my daddy-o and mum. we parkwalked and picniced. quite nice. then we went to starbucks for coffee and food. then i bought shoes at rsh. i always feel extremely sorry when shoe-trying, cos i make that dude fetch me so many shoes at this size, that size, halfsize smaller or bigger, get me this color blah, then i kind of leave him alone to mirrorgaze my shoes, nudge my parents for their take...heh...but after i buy the shoe, the guilt is gone. HAHA. why? cos that's his job, and i guess there is mutual satisfaction. i've my shoe, he - his commission. so. okay la. right? dowan then usher me another dude la.

i couldnt decide on the shoe to get. wanted to get the classic addidas, but, blahblah, then i thought i heard dad say i can get two. so i got the nikes first. i was walking home, gazing at my shoes, wondering whether i shld go and swap shoes la. see, even after the purchase, im still undecided. then suddenly. a ray of light, a gust of wind. i thought my shoe looked very pretty. so okay. it can stay. then after i removed my shoes when i reached home, i looked it it and it looked quite nice. so. okay la. double affirmation. but stiLL! i want another pair of shoes, dad. im only left with the yellows. from history, kunman has 4 pairs of sports shoes on an average. a genuine running shoe or two, and the rest are just...fashion sports shoes. so now...i only have that yuckyyellow and this sch going pair. daddy-o. what say you.

played badminton with...daniel, sherman and yongzhi today. quite fun. but im not as strong as the guys la. actually suppose to go gym with...yiding..sherman, yongzhi and.....daniel one. (their names are still very hard to remember and recall offhand. not like girl names) all because i have dance and i have a change of clothes - an added choice under scarce time to play. the gym was empty la. i was so happy at first, after signing in and changing, but later, there was a class using the gym. = [ waste my time.

for cca, i think i shall stay with gavel as second cca still. though there's this cca that's so appealing. but, im sure, despite all lures, that isnt the path for me. i'll act out my own story with God's guiding. no pt forcing it for wrong reasons. plsplspls help me stay strong in my decision.

i've been bussing to school. met qingyuan and yiheng (his chinese name. i bet i'll spell his eng name wrongly) surprisingly after dance. somehow i decided to walk backwards to the 851 busstop as well. the two busbuddies ah, so busybody. but it was very nice talking - not gossipping- over the prawnstench. i was feeling super nauseous after my nap during dance. so, that cleared everything up. tmr trying a new route. i hope we get lost. so exciting what.

sucha long post. im amazed.

kmli blogged at 1/31/2006 09:27:00 PM

i dont feel sleepy at all. im staying up. whether i manage to do anything is not important. i like the night. i hope i get to stay up till tmr morning. though mum should be very upset. but i'll sleep tmr night.
bernard says there's something called 'sleep debt'. but debts are meant to be payable.
jingwen shows me an article on sleep benefits, titled 'Sleep for Power'. i linked it to the title. very biology at the second part. not that i understand, but, i like. cos it makes sleeping sound very professional and purposeful. perfect for me, who finds immense difficulty in getting out of bed, now i've got a new found 'sleep 5 mins more mission statement' drafted.

BUT.

"Furthermore, elevated cortisol levels have been identified in patients with adrenal tumors."

Huh. elevated cortisol levels found in those with adrenal tumors? doesnt the tumor cause cortisol levels to increase? tumors are growths leh. not enough sleep, cortisol level increase...uh huh ...but then, not enough sleep, not enough growth hormones also what. hey.

kmli blogged at 1/31/2006 02:40:00 AM

i've finished dinner. yum it was.

anyway, backtrack to before dinner. i was getting ready for dinner and i passed the window of my parents' room. stared out to search for stars, but there were none.
but there was such a wonderful, gentle breeze. and yes, staring thru the lilac binds, the darkpurple/maroon sky matched so perfectly. the nightair was cold and i wanted to stand there and, stand there forever. splendid. =] cheesygrin.

it's chinese new year, it's supposedly the festive season for the chinese. my parents are trying to educate me about chinese customs/history/etc again. but at that very windy spot i was in, im beginning to feel im missing something. something besides a festive atmosphere who's arrival i should be anticipating tmr when new year officially kicks in.

am i missing someone? (no. not frost king. yet) the folks and family around the globe? hm..dont think so. im missing a part of myself. it's too chim to figure out. perhaps i shld take that spot by the lilac binds more often. to be carried away by drifts of reflection and memory. [aiyoh. that's so emotional]

[pause to go and bathe]

k. i bathed with pomelo leaves. daddy-o says he remembers how grandma always gave the seven kids of hers pomelo leaves to bathe with. it's suppose to be this 'solid' tradition that was never broken. so as his daughter approaches '17', daddy-o and mum decides to give me this experience. fun. crushing some non-existent scent out of the leaves.

as i was gazing at the leaves, tearing them up, i thought they looked really pretty. come to think of it, i think leaves are so oftenly prettier than flowers. of course, some flowers are nice, but, i've never been a person who appreciates those flower exhibitions blahblah. dont u think trees are prettier? they look sturdier and...it's a more solid kind of 'big' beauty. but i still like getting flowers. and i like, above all, dried flowers. Dead flowers, if you have to say. im such a difficult person to understand =] you wonderfool.

wine tonight wasnt as gd as the 1 jan wine. im planning to delve into beer soon.
-hiccup-, heh.

kmli blogged at 1/28/2006 10:23:00 PM

I Just Finished Piano Lesson.
I was angry with my teacher.
My teacher was angry with me.
It started off badly with scales,
Which I didn't practice.
Scales ended on a most terrible note,
Cause it was a wrong note. ahem.

Sight-reading was good.
But it did little to tame/extinguish
The teacher already set on fire.
Pieces were horrible as usual,
but I really Hate the second piece.
Ms Ramah says as long as I play
One note wrongly, it's obvious.
I dont even hear a tune.

but as she was leaving, she gave me a piano pencil. Maybe our conversation regarding my replacement lesson at the end calmed her down? Or, maybe it's just cause lesson's over and she's done with me. Maybe she felt sorry for me?

But seriously, it felt quite good when she was angry with me. Sometimes, when I play well and she's pleased, it tires me out a bit, cause I have to smile and laugh and keep the standard up. But when she's upset with me, she'll flaunt her attitude, and i mean Real Attitude. She'll give me 'that tone', and sigh that sarcastic 'sigh'. You know, it keeps me focused. And since I'm already that deep in trouble, I just have to do a little better to perk her up (before letting her down again). Like, since she's already 'tripped', I know she can pick herself up, so. heck. I still like my piano teacher. It's MY FAULT for not practicing, because I am too busy. And I feel quite dissappointed with myself, but i don't fault myself, because piano is not my top priority. Even studies. They should be my top priority (though it often gets misplaced, and, well, missing!), but if Im not even done with studies, Ms Ramah, I regret to inform you I cannot caress the keys of the piano, or even brush against the piano bench to warm it up 0.01 degrees celcius. So, you scold me also no use leh. How? But I really want to practice. and score well

- so i can get this over and done with.

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Today during GP, I wrote a fatty thesis statement. my teacher said i need to use a method called 'cutting the fats'. =] it sounds so surgical it pleases me so much.

"Reality T.V. is an unbeneficial form of media information that erodes morally-upright values and beliefs, though the guise of providing (extra)value-added "entertainment" that serves only as wrong avenues for self/social development and "dream-realisation"."

Mrs Davis thought it was lousy evidently. Comment, people. Is it really bad? The thesis statements I write were never first class thesis statements, but, that's what I learnt, and from experience, using 'broader' terms help to encompass the whole scope of my essay. Are there too many ideas to take up? Hm...Mrs Davis makes sense, but, I think I make sense too. And the thesis isn't exactly chim what. I didn't even use vocab. like highlevel vocab. Perhaps it's ambiguous? But that's why this is a thesis, something i Plan to put at the start, for me to expound on. rightt?

[1] erodes morally-upright values
[2] how reality T.V. is disguised as entertainment that 'appeals'
[3] wrong avenue for self develpmt/dream realisation
[4] in relation to social development

[1]+[2]+[3]+[4] = unbeneficial form of media information.

I like GP very much. It's about as close to literature/essaywriting as it gets. Cos for econs so far, we've only been playing trading games. For Civics, even worse. I have yet to learn anything propagandarish/anything of tribute to Asian traditional values/ anything that glorifies civic-mindedness/active citizenship. But I'm fine with it =] so fine it's mind blowwwing. hoho.
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I was in Singapore for the econs trading game. And we sillyly had a merger with (of all countries) Indonesia. But we were desperate and they had resources/land/white paper. BUTBUT, we had fun! Yiding was the lawless chinabusinessman. He went harassing/assaulting/threatening/(molesting) the banker. Go Yiding! Then, we had Raffles Stone members in our group as well. We had people who counted money, people who did tessalations when cutting triangles, quiet cutters, loud experienced people. but I'm very happy even though we didn't win when we average out our incomes. cos i think we're the most happening traders.

I wonder how Dance Auditions went. I hope....that that thesethose that...the therefore because... =\...dental tmr. should i go to school for cny celebrations? oh. arabian white coffee. i like.

kmli blogged at 1/26/2006 08:25:00 PM

nono. please dont let this be a farewell.
rehearsed farewells are quite sad.
reminds me of my daddyo having to fly back and forth for many years when i was young.

so, im making this as casual as possible. not exactly succeeding, cause many times, you can't fool yourself, but.

byebye, frost king.

kmli blogged at 1/24/2006 09:54:00 PM

i don't mean to whine, and i dont usually whine, but there are quite some things to be...'arggh' about.
the two i want to tell you about are as follows:
-i have a headache. should be gone after i get a shower.
-i feel queasy in the stomach cos i think im carsick. should be gone after i get a shower.

now.
i need to get a shower! arggh...eeyeer....sigh.

you have reason to suspect that all these is due to school starting in less than 12 hours. a full week ahead. i'll be fine once i step into school. it's just these...few hours before bedtime.

kmli blogged at 1/22/2006 09:45:00 PM

i think my wallet's gone forever. so is the ezlink card with my beautiful picture - cos i put in my own photo when i replaced it last year. and also the wonderful phone that is my accomplice in getting up from bed and ignoring calls and smses because 'we' do not like to be too accessible. selectively so. we were cool. the money is okay. but the pouch was mum-given, just at christmas. it was just a casual gift thing, but still. it's been less than a month, so i havn't gotten sick of it yet = im still quite fond of it. how untimely.

this is so gross and im sad partly because i miss all those things-of-late. but it's gross because i get flashbacks of what i was doing before i lost my wallet, how i was going around looking for it (with wanchee. thanks.), of how i felt after, how i cried and felt like crap. how i felt horribly helpless and detached from my secular belongings.

then i factor out factors and i have stupid thoughts like, if only and if only i did this instead of that, that might have changed the way stuff turned out. i look at the clock during lecture and i want to turn back time, but im too far off the mark. i stone and mentally retrace my steps and i feel like stopping the world from turning and turning it back in reverse so i can undo that fault. i wish this i wish that. if life had rehearsals SOMETIMES. when it comes to forgetfulness.

it's that feeling right after a performance u havn't done well in. u wish u had polished up that bit of steps. cos u know that glitch messed up the whole thing. i like my dance laoshi. because she says it straight that she wants perfection, and will not settle for anything less. perfection is what everyone wants, assuming rational behavior in rational circumstances (application from economics lecture, see, see, ms lio and mr teo =]) so just say it if u want perfection. maybe, in dance, perfection/seeming perfection is possible cos u can practice. im just trying to say some people secretly wish for perfection when lip-synching 'oh, it's okay. just do your best'. you have to define 'best' u get it? laoshi says it straight and that gives me discipline. target spelt out loud. like when u shoot, i dont care air rifle or handpistol, u aim openly, as part of procedures. u dont winkwinkblinkblink and pretend it was a natural shot and you dont sweat a bit to try to ooze out effort to score points.

some people when sharing about their life/experiences will say things like 'im sure i did something not so well, but now, even on hindsight, i wouldn't want to change what i did'. makes sense la. esp when u know u've drawn lessons out of an incident. but seriously, aren't there things that you know you shouldn't have done? wrong things that could have had led to better tomorrows for yourself and those around you? if you don't want to change anything, then perhaps, i just think you havn't really done your reflections well enough?

like mrs davis said. writing is fluid. u can always reread and want to change things after seeing the discrepancies. writing comes from thought. memories and thoughts should be more fluid. you cannot change history practically, just as i cannot revive the wallet-of-late. but you know, there are so many things i wish i can undo and redo. or not do.

i guess given the position i am in, im so resigned and i feel so helpless that i feel like being reckless to take another gamble and see where i'll be left at, cos there seems to be nothing worse of. which is untrue, but still. i need to bounce back, and out of this dent.

kmli blogged at 1/19/2006 10:43:00 PM

pitter patters, the highs and lows.
..
...blahblah and etceteras
...on the way there
..
mum: how was dance auditions? you tried out for both clubs?
me: no. i realised my wallet was missing halfway through modern and by the time i got to chinese, i couldn't dance on. the first station was too easy. i looked over to the second(technique) and third(more challenging/longer dance) stations and with that worry/frustration/anxiety about the stolen wallet looming above my head, i knew i couldn't bring myself to and through those two stations well, though looking around, i was okaystandard. i just left.
..
...blahblah and etceteras
...on the way back, after i decided we should take a u-turn back home.
..
mum: you shouldn't say that/think that way! face reality and just bring yourself through. Since you are already there, follow it through, right?
me: that's one lesson, perhaps.
mum: hm.
..
...blahblah and etceteras
...reaching home...
..
mum: alright. let it end here. don't be sad/upset/down/depressed anymore. let this chapter close.
me: didn't say anything. just strolled into the house and stepped out of my shoes, cause i couldn't find the energy to jump out of them/kick them off.
----------------------------------------------

when stuff started unfolding, when the bad stuff began to sink in, i was going ' oh. die ready. haha. crap. this is bad'. then i thought about how sickening everything would be, how dire consequences would be, i thought even more. then i realised how lost and hopeless i am, and i knew i was going to cry. blinked back tears and sniffed a little but. heck. i cried anyway. so childish and silly over a stolen pouch/wallet, right?. loser weeps.

i know i can't and should not be sad forever, but how not to? i'll be reminded just immediately in school again and that feeling irks me out. im going to be blue for a while. bear with me or cure me. is there a difference?

"eh, don't cry, i never see you cry before," - jung.
im not crying now. "tomorrow we play somemore indian poker." - me.

pitter patters, school's highs and lows
pitter patter, and mum says it again.

kmli blogged at 1/18/2006 09:13:00 PM

Mon
Class lunch. At our own little orange 'place'. encountered a sireny lady at the rooftop. played i-never and walked back to school. all the i-nevers...explicit or vague, clever or silly.

Tues
hodge-talk replaced civics class and we squeezed into the hall. had to be flexible in sitting positions to accomodate one another. one moment i'll cross my legs, another shift them sideways, so zhangrue can cross his. another moment my legs are numb and i have to shift. huiyi was nice because i)she's a girl, and ii) with reference to i, i could rest my legs on hers.

WedI
had econs in the library. we helped one another selflessly to complete the worksheet. commendable class spirit. can't remember who but...
a: copy faster
b: i not used to copying what.
c: ya la, all your assignments all do yourself right?
c: i also not used to copying.
a and b listens to what c is saying
c: cause i dont even do my work.
aiyah. those boys so hardworking. dont bluff. it's okay being hardworking. just help me. selflessly, as we move through the nxt 20+ months.

WedII
pe was quite okay. mel tan is pe rep. you can do it. give ur rep status a new touch, girl =] -that librarical touch- ok. joking. liberal touch. meaning....hurhur....let us do a lotalot of stretching so we have..no time for situps and/or pushups?
then we took height and weight, all so we can put it against national standards and have them declare us 'underweight', 'acceptable' or 'overweight' OR unclassifiable... that is so hip.
i was so surprised that the boys, the whole other-side-of-the-class waited for us outside the gym where we took our height and weight. all of them. no kidding. some were changed out, some weren't. they all hanged around and waited, for us to go for recess. so nice. cos it was absolutely unneccessary and our height and weight measurement was after lesson dismissal.

WedIII
During recess, i was just mentioning to the girls that tmr would be heexun's bday. then amanda said "do you know whose birthday it is today?" - turned out she meant Jay Chou. she said to sing jay chou a birthdaysong. then was it jingwen? he dared her to go sing in the middle of the main canteen. then we decided to go along with her. half the class went. so we tried to rally support for our silly project and...yea. we did sing the song. twice somemore. k, not very loud but STILL.
Kevin was wincing in agony seeing us put ourselves to such a humiliating task. he was REALLY writhing at another table... as for the other people all around, amanda and i were saying we must have a chicken parade. cowards. chicken or cow parade. okok, maybe u guys were taking the learn-by-observation approach. we look forward to future collaborations. =] we need to do stupid stunts to lighten up, come on, everyone is mugging Alreadyy.

WedIV and it gets better
Chem class. first chem tutorial. we had to stand up and introduce ourselves, say out a compound/element/substance that best represents us/we like. We did an identity swap to fool the teacher! so fun. you must be the reason why i didn't fall asleep. hilarious.

WedV gp
last lesson, we were all so sleepy cos the rm was warm and there was an occassional breeze coming from the windows. i mean, we're on the SEVENTH floor! but, k la. can make it la. at first we thought mrs davis very fierce, so we decided against the identity-swap plan.

byebye. i think my class very nice. everyone seems to be of good-friend-material. at least so far. i hope it stays so. doesn't everyone?

kmli blogged at 1/18/2006 08:49:00 PM

Dear God,

Im sorry for what i did today. I shouldn't have *ahemahem*, *coughcoughs*, you know, you know...but I was *ahemahemahem*, so I *coughcoughs* and. yea.

- Kun Man.

kmli blogged at 1/18/2006 07:55:00 PM

[1] im just about to settle myself down to begin real work - for the three very exciting lectures tmr. there are only one hour breaks in between- so i suppose that's kind of rush. i think 'one hour' in jc is neither long nor short. i had chingay practice from 4 to 7 today and so i got home quite late. adding to the dinner and chat with parents to a few phone calls, im dead beat already.

[2]mps later. not meet-the-peoples-session, but meet-the-parents-session. i need to speak with them regarding moneymatters and okay, AND moneymatters.

[3] i was trying to think of something intellectual and thinkish cos before that i thought of something^1. something^1 is a quote that goes somewhat like, being able to think but unable to communicate reduces one to the level of those who cannot even think. so threatening. so, this phrase popped up in my head. a little like chicken and egg but, im determined to draw a clear line to liberate it from the possible chicken and egg classification fate. here it goes:

familiarity breeds trust.
or
trust breeds familiarity.
or
do they Have to work at the same time.
and if they do
do they work against or along with one another.

no ONE answer, but discover the combis through in-depth thinking. so many possible scenarios. and yet, application and reality and matching those scenes to real life is a whole new set of many more combinations. aha.

[4] regarding a certain issue i have to pray hard about: dad offers advice. he says that if gut feeling tells me something is wrong, i should guard my life and not let that someone into my circle, or else i might find it difficult to leave or kick that person away next time. makes sense, but, what other MCQ options are there for my complicated scenario? what say you, mum? wait. she says the same thing. whot about the sister?

[5] i feel like sleeping now, and waking up tmr to do my work. should i take the gamble? from experience, such gambles are like unfair dices. the dice is usually weirdly shaped - to give a 75% probability of a negative outcome. sheesh.

[6] i think i've been happy today. like now, as i sit down, i feel very happy. what sarah says is right. i think i remember being very happy in school sometimes, but when i think about what i was laughing at, i find i can't remember.

not todayy though... =] gdnight. once again, i feel so happy. why.

kmli blogged at 1/11/2006 10:36:00 PM

wanted to say this once i got home today.
this whole week, i've hardly set down at my study, and if it's walking into my bedroom, it's a beeline for the bed. so as i strolled home today with wet shoes from stomping over puddles from the wonderful never-ending rain, i think that was the first time in the week i walked slowly, below normal speed (which many people complain to be too fast), cos i wasn't rushing to sch/rushing home.

dropped my bag off at my study door. and then, i caught that study room smell. that smell of unread books, of the once-there sweets and gummies. sounds retardedly dramatic but i was like 'wow'. still surprised somehow, i walked over to my bedroom's shelves to toss my necklace into the little shelves. aha! the smell of that wooden shelf at the other end of the room. leaned against the this end of the room shelf and then abracadebra. i never quite took time to take in that crabtree+evelyn smell+ blahblah whatever is in the green baskety smell.

i wanted to hug the walls and stand reverse on the ceilings.

im home.

kmli blogged at 1/08/2006 10:59:00 PM

say the word and i will sing for you
over oceans deep i will follow
if each start was a song
and every breath of wind praise
it would still fail by far to say all my heart contains
i simply live, i simply live for you

as the glory of your presence now fills this place
in worship we wil meet you face to face
there is nothing in this world to which you can be compared
glory and glory, praise upon praise

you bind the broken-hearted and save all my tears
by your word you set the captives free
there is nothing in this world that you cannot do
i simply live, i simply live for you.
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i really really pray that God will use me in special ways this year. i really want to be saltish and bright for him. so i say now, above everything else, im willing, so let me be very brave and sharp for you.

kmli blogged at 1/08/2006 07:27:00 PM

i'll probably talk about orientation in detail later - you know when work comes in, and then, i'll start reminising about 'those times'. right now, everything's been so cool and smooth, i'm still swimming in joy. my og was...heh..unique and more than i expected. people were very nice to be with.

right now. it's 7.20 pm. i'm a little tired. but i have to confess - i can't wait for school to start. no doubt, i have my fears, my worries, my dreams, but i can't wait to start with this week's lectures. I THINK. please please please God, don't let me be too wrong on these gut-feelings too soon.

i just hope very hard that the teachers dont piss me off with too much admin stuff. can you please jump straight into the lessons. we can cover admin stuffs maybe next month, when we lose the 'zeal' for your subject. filler, entertainment. wadever.

really. just pile me up with readings. i'll be Very happy. cos i've been a lil deprived of school, timetabling and all that for quite some time.

pardon the 'excitment' and enthusiasm. i'll be getting over it soon. i'll blog more when reality sobers me up. a little more.

kmli blogged at 1/08/2006 07:22:00 PM

guess i shall talk abt it abit...though im tired. though i have no idea where to start.
howzat! og ppl are all nice. ogls are both nice.
haiya.

you know what? we had to change into pe attire as usual today. but there were such long queues at the few toilets near the hall..and, we couldn't find more toilets. - are u wincing yet?- YES. four of us decided to change 'out in the open'. think abt it. it's a complicated process, putting on shorts, removing pinafore, tearing open your shirt and putting on your peshirt. u have to do it really-quickly. and then, so i decided to stand guard..for guys.

3 guys walked past and me and renhui (isit?) we tried to tell them, 'walk that way', 'look away'...very composed-ly. then suddenly, a whole group of guys walked past. heart attack la. then a few more guys walked past - everyone was looking for toilets- and we directed them to reroute. so, in the end, i was so traumatized me and renhui we ran up the stairs somemore and hopped into an empty lt to change. aircon somemore =] heh.

anyways. orientation's...pretty okay so far. there has to be beginnings. tmr it's outdoor 'adventure'. cool. i get tired and restless when there's nothing to do. well. howzat's getting better. won all the games except the shaving cream game. the two ball games at the tennis courts were...so fun. made me very happy. cos it's at least...engaging...not like some...'blindfold-a-guy-ask-him-wear-your-shoes-for-you-game'.

i thank God for all the different kinds of people in my og. they are all unique and 'them' in all their own special ways. and that is great. don't ever trade yourself with something else cos then you get yourself terribly shortchanged, and go against all theories of economy and trade. there's a place for every single specie of 'you'. i know it sounds cheesy and cliche. that's cause u hear so much of it. =because such stuff happens too often.

night. [star-gazed tonight..]

kmli blogged at 1/04/2006 09:48:00 PM

mixing bowl, oven gloves.
flowerpots, garden life.
butter, eggs and love.
sauce pan, pitcher, knife.
Original flavour - Farmland Oregon Fresh!

kmli blogged at 1/01/2006 07:32:00 PM

[1] i just finished this rock melon kit kat bar daddy got from hokkaido, japan. tasted good. a lil too sweet, but 'fresh' all the same.
[2] this boy who lives near me, who knows my sister, spied on me and my sister swimming. apparently, as my sister is talking to him on msn now, he was on the draw-bridge on top, and he walked past, and he spotted us. still remember my sis saying ' who's that guy, can u ask him to get lost and stop staring'. so it was him. why did my fats not frighten him off to trip him and send him down the edge of the bridge? and he said im fatter than my sis. okay. correct. cos i 'just eat', and..well...actually im not exactly fatter than my sis what. depends which part..hm.

anyways.

[3] im excited abt sch. and the new year.
[4] but my first wk is already so packed. quite tiring.
[5] commercial break: my sis and i bought new shoes that are white. we thought we'll never be able to buy shoes today - cos we are very picky and we've shopped many times for shoes to no avail. but my shoes are exer. no choice. there's this strange disease. just...the day before ytd, we bought shorts with yellow stripes (for my addidas) and yellow strip (for her nike's)..there's this strange color thing going on. i wonder what's the next item.
[6] sunday sch class is by random ages...quite a gd idea. teacher is kumchiew. chay. thought it's wailing. but. whoever it is. as long as they teach can ready. cos i'm ready to learn.
[7] hm. tmr public holiday. i've been reading furiously for the past few days. books on christianity, fiction, news, and magazines - like nat geog. newsweek. strange. but it's nice.

happynewyear. see the candle. the food. the wine? cheers.

kmli blogged at 1/01/2006 06:47:00 PM