mossadance

i'm really so drowned in work i'm getting quite worked up. sometimes, in fact, many times, i look at my life. and besides asking the obvious 'where is the life' question, i wince at...basically this hectic life that i'm living. it's gross how many things get piled up unto your already cluttered plate, and how there are people who don't care less about making your life more miserable indirectly, for the good of their own. i feel worse sometimes, when i know that there are so many people behind me, just looking out for me.

but then again, ask me if i would drop some of these commitments, i'll not think twice to say 'no'. say i'm brainwashed or whatever, but i'm really happy being busy. really 'into' the work i do. it doesn't matter who sees it, who sees not, sees wrong. this certainty within myself supercedes all.

"Is He Satisfied, will He be Satisfied with me?"

Yea. really, as we live each day, sometimes we just realise more and more how 'ugly' we truly are. so hideous and yet, God 'passes' us, to be His children. It's just amazing. conditional love fills the world. you can't get enough of it sometimes, because it does not satisfy. there's not enough to go round. but, His love is just, really 'something'. it's so unconditional..and..just so direct. you can't duck.

i can never be more grateful that in God, i see the reason to live. it's really what keeps the 'optimism'/compulsive 'optimism' going. it's why i'm still alive, and kicking.

sometimes when i get pressurized, it's so easy to snap at people, be stingy with love or etc. but because He lives, because He's so alive and kicking...I can face tomorrow. and many more tomorrows.

kmli blogged at 9/15/2005 02:47:00 PM

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