is it my weakness, or is it the 'power' of a guitar?

had a free block in school today, before recess and assembly. i've been feeling quite 'zoned out'. many things have been happening. no. many things are happening. and, sometimes, i just can't take all of them in at once. but maybe, it's because everything's going too well at the moment. there just isn't that -snap-...i have no idea what's wrong too. or what's right.

i wanted to finish all my math in that hour. but, i couldn't concentrate. i didn't feel like talking to classmates either. so, while crazy lulu was playing all her, ahem, very nice songs on her guitar...i just stoned. i don't know if i was enjoying the music or the...seeming silence, or if i heard anything at all.

they said i looked 'deep in thought'. i suppose so. but, i just don't know what to think of. i was searching for something to think about. but when i couldn't think of anything 'wrong' to think about, i realised it wasn't possible to identify some 'right' things to talk about. you know, i can go on and on abt this. but then again, it brings only temporal engagement. so. how.

oh. in sch, we had 'ipp' exercise. in-place-protection, cos 'there was a toxic gas release in the school vicinity'. so we taped the windows and doors and sealed them with garbage bags and set up a temp. toilet.

not entirely related but. sometimes, i wonder how much it takes to unite people. to allow us to look beyond ourselves. what does it take. what is missing. should i dream. and stand by my dreams, that i've held on for so long. cos time and again, i think i've failed. what's worse. time and again, i was conned by seeming, short-termed success that i feel i should not plainly settle for. because 407's capable of so much more. have i waited for too long and shld i just abort this, being such a lone warrior. maybe i shldn't believe. i shld just brush it aside, let the leaves fall. let them rot. and just continue living life.

ignore me if you please. maybe, it's just 'today'. another 'today'.


kmli blogged at 9/24/2005 11:09:00 AM


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