mossadance

pitter patters, the highs and lows.
..
...blahblah and etceteras
...on the way there
..
mum: how was dance auditions? you tried out for both clubs?
me: no. i realised my wallet was missing halfway through modern and by the time i got to chinese, i couldn't dance on. the first station was too easy. i looked over to the second(technique) and third(more challenging/longer dance) stations and with that worry/frustration/anxiety about the stolen wallet looming above my head, i knew i couldn't bring myself to and through those two stations well, though looking around, i was okaystandard. i just left.
..
...blahblah and etceteras
...on the way back, after i decided we should take a u-turn back home.
..
mum: you shouldn't say that/think that way! face reality and just bring yourself through. Since you are already there, follow it through, right?
me: that's one lesson, perhaps.
mum: hm.
..
...blahblah and etceteras
...reaching home...
..
mum: alright. let it end here. don't be sad/upset/down/depressed anymore. let this chapter close.
me: didn't say anything. just strolled into the house and stepped out of my shoes, cause i couldn't find the energy to jump out of them/kick them off.
----------------------------------------------

when stuff started unfolding, when the bad stuff began to sink in, i was going ' oh. die ready. haha. crap. this is bad'. then i thought about how sickening everything would be, how dire consequences would be, i thought even more. then i realised how lost and hopeless i am, and i knew i was going to cry. blinked back tears and sniffed a little but. heck. i cried anyway. so childish and silly over a stolen pouch/wallet, right?. loser weeps.

i know i can't and should not be sad forever, but how not to? i'll be reminded just immediately in school again and that feeling irks me out. im going to be blue for a while. bear with me or cure me. is there a difference?

"eh, don't cry, i never see you cry before," - jung.
im not crying now. "tomorrow we play somemore indian poker." - me.

pitter patters, school's highs and lows
pitter patter, and mum says it again.

kmli blogged at 1/18/2006 09:13:00 PM

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