[1] today during econs tutorial, i stoned and slept. it feels super relaxing to space-out. but to my classmates, im probably putting up a cold and weird front, appearing to be quite unapproachable and weird. im not. it's just that there's not enough fun and thrill to jolt me awake. and activate that livelier part of me. sigh. it's like that exponential curve. i need a lot of activation energy. would you be the catalyst? ohdear. haha.
[2] today after chem tutorial, i felt very angry. really. but i dont know at what. i felt so angry! maybe it was the chem quiz that i totally did not know how to do. but why get angry over the fact that i'm retarded? shrugs. i just felt so angry. and i had this sudden 'need' to do a split. serious. it's terribly weird. but i just had to plop down right away. but now that there are boys in my class, it is very inconvenient to split in my pinafore. that feeling was really very sickening- where to find a place to split? also. i had a certain 'want' for pineapple tarts. as ms lee was talking, i just had this conviction that if i get just one (or two) pineapple tarts right away, the axis the world spins around would be oiled, and, i would get all that's being taught right away. i was almost convinced- as convinced as i let myself to be, since i know that even as the demand for pineapple tarts intensifies within me, there will be no supply. im such a dreamer.
kmli blogged at 2/15/2006 06:08:00 PM
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