mossadance

daddy-o painted my study. it's now yellow. see the yellow wall? last time it used to be blue. from the pic, there isnt much of a diff, but trust me, my study looks very...yellow now. the bedroom might be purple. hm...i really want deepdarkgreen. but apparently, Singaporeans of the temperate-red-dot-on-the-globe cannot take dark colors, so according to the laws of supply and demand, the shop does not sell such dark colored paint.

anyways, 3L continued watching the movie "I am Sam" today. didn't really tear cos the segment we watched wasn't that sad and i was supersuper exhausted from my flu. now with the medicine, i feel even worse. im just zapped of whatever energy i have. yes, it's been so long since i last fell sick, saw a doc and got medicine.

but the parts we saw on Tuesday did hit the tear ducts quite a bit. stuff like poverty, parent-child relationships are things that make me cry very easily. hey but this isn't the most tearable movie. i've been through quite a few that are even worse. who's up to the challenge. watch and cry yourself silly.

then ms lio asked if we were given a choice, would we rather be physically disabled or mentally disabled. i know it's a lot more 'appealing' to choose the former, cause you feel you have more to offer to society and/or you are less of a liability. i don't know what's my answer to this absurd but interesting question but from my special olympics swimming experience and etc, i see another dilemma.

when you are physically disabled, you are mentally able and you can 'think' and 'see' as normally(or abnormally) as 'normal' people. and you know this feeling of 'i see but i cannot reach' feeling? because you are so close to normal, and so fully of that, you have the full capacity to dream like the rest. but because you are society's physically disabled, you still ought to stay in your grid. you wait for your turn to toss the dice and while straining to reach for it, the other players have all gone for two rounds after two quick tosses. there are boundaries you are so fully aware of that it pricks you where you hurt most, that it pricks where you lack most, and even where the remaining functioning bit of you is.

but for the mentally-disabled, like Sam, what renders a laugh, a hug, tears, anger will be what their hearts call for. i remember that dude i was swimming with, shawn? or whatever his name was...life is simple. swimming is simple. im sure he has his frustrations, im sure his parents get mighty confused and stressed, but they will never need to doubt his love for them. and if he keeps swimming on in life, he has already conquered the world in his heart. such simple joys, but it calls for a high price of possible discrimination and nasty surprises in this world's currency, with our society's dollar exchange rate.

[1] what currency do you use. what are the currency exchange rates between different communities in today's society. how's the stock market of your heart doing.
[2] im thankful to be relatively healthy and able. and that's why, it's almost a duty to speak up for those who are shouting above the din but are ignored.
[3] take care not to render somebody physically/mentally disabled with your words or actions

on a side-note: i think poverty is one of the scariest things that can happen. and by poverty, it isn't just about financial disability. poverty is, indeed something that really threatens to strip someone of his/her human dignity. and when you look around, the poorest in such modern times may very well be the one swimming in utmost abundance.

kmli blogged at 3/22/2006 07:12:00 PM

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